Sean Swarner said, “Cancer is not a death sentence, but a speed bump in life on the way to something greater”. Indeed, cancer shouldn’t always be a death sentence. Sometimes it turns to be a speed bump where life slows down and gives the chance to ruminate over life to understand its value and to learn to live!
8years have passed now and I wonder how significantly life has been changed?! It is said that change is the only constant thing in this world. Of course, life would have changed even if I hadn’t had cancer but not to this extent. I must say cancer had played a pivotal role in my life. My thoughts, opinions, desires and a lot more changed with cancer. Those pain and sufferings taught me plenty of lessons.
Life threatening cancer is so terrible that the word cancer itself has become frightening. In the beginning, for me, it was easy to say osteosarcoma than cancer though it meant the same. I was reading Sean’s book and in the initial pages, he called it “dreaded C-word”. At first, I wondered but slowly I have comprehended how tough it could have been for him to accept that word! It takes much time to accept that word and it doesn’t even leave any other option too!
The journey had been tough and challenging. Accepting the fact of being a cancer patient, emotional turmoil, harsh medicines, side effects, uncertain tomorrows, unpleasant present were really awful and despite all this, saying “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry” was the toughest one. In that hospital bed, with a deceased body, exhausted by chemo I was imagining a beautiful tomorrow! You can call it either my stupidity or my hopefulness. I knew my future was vague (future is always uncertain, that’s a different thing!!), but instead of brooding over death, hoping for a beautiful tomorrow seemed better.
We always understand the value of things when we lose it or about to lose. I was on the edge of losing my life and that’s where I fathomed the value of life. I was striving to get my life back. It is true life imposes many challenges but that’s the beauty of life! After spending several days in the hospital, having been dependent on crutches for more than a year, coping with fearful thoughts and freaky experiences, after tackling with inner turmoil and learning the key lessons I have fallen in love with life. I have begun loving myself and summoning the energy to dream big! There are challenges and perhaps the more will come but I’m sure all that lead to something better.
In the past 8 years, I have seen many survivors. I have read their stories, got to know about their courage with which they fought and came back and everyone has shown that there is a beautiful life beyond cancer. I too concur with them because now we actually began living. Our life has thoroughly become a LIFE!!