Everybody has a past. Some are worth lessons, whereas some are bitter chapters. It’s up to you what you’ve learned, today. No amount of guilt will change what happened with you, no amount of anxiousness will alter your future. Reality is you, you is now.
Relations cannot be perfect as shown by your favorite romantic films. Universe is imperfect and humans are imperfect too. Humans are not robots, so chill!
I don’t write on romance and sex. I am not an agony aunt. OK? I write serious shit on banking, politics, economics, etc. It’s OK, if you disbelieve it. The real reason behind this yellow article is to talk straightly about few things that are going extremely erroneous in our society. Don’t take me as a cynic, but it is really a disconcerting fact to behold when my friends turn to me for relationship advises like “Hey, can I be just friends with my EX?”, etc. I reply instantly without any second thought, “No, buddy, you cannot.” In this article, I intend to justify few coherent reasons that you cannot afford to undermine at all.
First of all, it is OK to have a past. Not a big deal. Relax. You did not commit any legal crime. If you’re feeling guilty, then it is your choice. Don’t blame life for what it has done to you, because life isn’t a determinism agent. Life didn’t force you to love or hate anyone. You are responsible for what you choose. Don’t you have a will power?
Second thing, try your best to never iterate the same errors that you did before. Repetition of same mistake isn’t a mistake; it is a choice.
Third thing, don’t try to be friends with your EX at all or under any plight. Read on further to know WHY.
First of all, how/why do you trust him or her again? The same person who appealed you demagogically is also the same person who can affect you subconsciously this time. Are you not tired with their game? Are you a toy? Do you “like” use-and-throw policy very much? If your answers are “yes”, then sit back and don’t complain. Simple.
Second thing, you were in situationship. You were, because you just knew each other. You broke up, because you understand each other. Under this new statement “Hey, let’s be friends?!”, it can be understood that you were never in love or you both still are. Don’t bemuse yourself so much or else you will suffer from clinical depression. Trust me, you’ll. Choose one, because you cannot sail on two boats at same time. You also cannot vote for two candidates at same time.
Third thing, don’t feel envious when you see your EX with someone else. Didn’t your parents taught you that toys belong to less unfortunate?
Fourth thing, befriending your EX again will make you more nostalgic than before. Whenever you’ll confab or meet as “friends”, there will be flashback tremendously. This will never help you to “move on”. It will make you feel comfortable in short-run, but in the long-run you’re dead. Try to be more matured, OK?
Fifth thing, it could also affect your new relationship with someone else because you cannot have past and present both at same time. Choose one. It is not right to have your EX back as friends, when someone else is missing you or loving you a lot currently. Your EX failed to prove you once, so there isn’t any sound reason to forgive it again. Is your EX a politician, eh?
Sixth thing, befriending your EX is playing with your own hope. It doesn’t enrich any scope. Learn to say “nope” and stop being an emotional pope.
Seventh thing, your EX is likely to affect your emotions and can beget a personal culture of false consciousness. All your communications or new talks with your EX won’t help you come out of memories.
Eighth thing, be cautious. Whenever your EX says, “Hey, I miss you!”. It means that the other person they tried to replace you with…failed!
Ninth thing, don’t make permanent promises when you’re temporarily happy.
Tenth thing, whilst walking on road, look ahead. When you look back, you will fall as well as fail.
Universe is vast. Fight against tax (legal expropriation). Forget your EX because s/he isn’t worth at all. Live life, don’t leave it.
Note: I am not missing my EX.
First published in TCI