Opinion

Condomstitution

(Note: This article is satirically very seditious. Please report it to your local police, after reading it)

Condomstitution, I think, is a “legal” document created by the government to control the government so that government does not act like a government in a society of government which does not like the government. Seems legit? Well, yes, it should, because without government who will employ the warlords? Condomstitution is a “mystical” doctrine created by your ancestors to replace the pathological attitude of the colonial government with the parasitical attitude of the postcolonial government so that they can build [inefficient] roads by “inflating” and “taxing” the cement and trucks.

Statists be like: “If you don’t like this condomstitution, then it’s your parents fault for giving you birth without using a condom.”

Basically speaking, condomstitution is a “sheet” of compiled jargons enunciated to carry out tyrannical operations as well as fascistic experiments. It protects the rights of those who are “in power, with power and buy power”, and pauperises the liberties of the submitizens because they have already exchanged their freedumb for more security. It also legitimately justifies another “illusionary” document called “social contract (SC)”. SC is something that you have not signed “officially”, but you’re supposed to follow the commandments laid out in it or else government will get you lade. The typical acts that constitute tacit consent are taxation and voting. But none of these acts actually count as consent, because they follow circular reasoning than deductive reasoning: Taxation is aggression (Coerced consent is an oxymoron) and Voting is a coerced choice (You don’t get to choose between liberty and government, but only between different types of government). So, consent theory is a dead end, and people will usually respond with the gratitude account, i.e. that citizens owe a debt of gratitude to government for the services it provides and those who disagree are told to migrate to Somalia. In this short video, Tom Woods elenchus’s the social contractarians.

Following are the “salient” features of condomstitution:

1) The primary function is to screw the natural rights of the people and establish three main brothels of the government: the legislature, executive and judiciary. Now, media.

2) It not only arranges the bed and whisky to each of the three (plus one) “main” organs, but it also significantly makes an unclear demarcation of the responsibilities assigned to each of them. It “effectively” regulates the system so that submitizens don’t attain “critical consciousness” at all.

3) Since the country’s government stands superior to all the laws framed within the territorial precincts of the country, any law enacted by the government has to be in “conformity” with the concerned condomstitution. As such, the submitizens would, in turn, be abiding by not just the “law”, but also working in sync with the demarcations of the government laid by the government.

4) It also does not simply provide a recipe for ineptocracy, but also deals with limitations on freedumb. Since power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely, a condomstitution is established to delimit the abuse of power by those who conduct tyrannical functions. Disbelieve me? Google: Eminent domain.

Last but not least, in reality, government is very condomstitutional. It is apoplithorismosphobic, halts entrepreneurship, ejaculates crony capitalism, destroys subsequent generations, protects a bunch of pricks, and provides its imbecilic constituents with a sense of security while they’re virtually being screwed.

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About the author

Jaimine Bezboznik

Jaimine Bezboznik

Very 'critical' box writer. A blasphemous writer awaiting sedition charges for making Readoo.in readers to think critically and anarchistically.

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